How to Stay on Your Ex-Boyfriend's Mind

Published: 16th January 2009
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How to Stay on Your Ex-Boyfriend's Mind





When you get dumped by your ex, a lot of things can run through your mind...including "how do I get him back?" It's a common question and goal, and it can be tricky to pull off. Pursuing your ex can make you look needy and desperate, but staying on his mind is important...so how do you do that without chasing after him?


There are actually a number of ways of keeping him thinking about you, even if you never even talk to him. In fact, most relationship advisors tell you NOT to talk to him for at least a month after the breakup, and this is actually one of the first tactics to getting on his mind...in a positive way.


When the two of you break up, a lot of feelings are flying around and it's easy to get so sick of one another that continued contact only adds to the trouble. Step back a bit and leave him alone, for about that month period. Time away from you will allow him to cool down and start to think about things again, and you not being in his life will very likely make him start to miss you like you miss him. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder, so even if he looks ok he's probably still thinking of you and wondering if it was the right choice to dump you.


The other ways to make him really keep thinking about you involve both staying in the public eye, and looking good while doing it. It may seem shallow, but appearance is everything in this game...it's really your only weapon when you're trying to avoid direct contact with him while still succeeding in getting him to think about you.


First off, renovate your appearance big time. Do something different, and make sure it looks great. Get a new hairstyle that looks gorgeous on you. Rebuild your wardrobe with flattering and trendy fashions. If your smile isn't at its best, get your teeth whitened and/or straightened. Work on your diet and see about clearing up your skin or losing those couple pounds that you've been pointedly ignoring to keep from having to admit to yourself that you don't like them. The bottom line is, look hot.


Once you're looking hot, make sure everybody sees it. Go out with a bunch of friends and stay social! Go to bars, parties, clubs, wherever there's a good time to be had in public, and make the most of it! You may not feel particularly up to partying, but it's great for your image and can actually help you feel better about yourself as well.


If your ex sees you or hears word of how great you look and how awesome of a time you're having, you'll be stuck in his mind like that song you heard on the radio a week ago. If you're getting a lot of attention from other guys, you'll get even more attention from him...which is one of a couple reasons why it's actually good to date during this month of separation, even if you plan on trying to get him back. Just because you go out with a few people doesn't mean you're going to marry and settle down with any of them, and it'll not only spur up some jealousy in your ex but it'll help you feel good about yourself again...like you're actually wanted and appreciated.


All of this will certainly get you in his head because it all says something: that you're moving on, and that he wasn't really that important. I know that's harsh, and he may very well have been quite important...but how did being dumped make you feel? How much did it make you think about him, and question yourself? It's a little dirty of a trick, but it's satisfying in so many ways...you get into his head, you rebuild some of your confidence, and you even get a little satisfaction from driving him as crazy as he drove you when he dumped you.


Chances actually are that you'll end up moving on in spite of yourself...and that's hardly a bad thing. Just imagine not only getting so into his head that he comes back to YOU, but also having the ability to choose whether or not you even want him back at all. It's a great feeling, and a little piece of the power that he seemingly robbed from you when he dumped you...the power to control your own life. If you want your ex boyfriend back, this could work for you...but you may find you don't anymore.


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